To the young female mind it may seem as a waste of time dating the immature boys of their own age group. Seeing as girls mature faster than boys, they sometimes seek relationships with older men that can make them feel more grown up and seemingly match their maturity levels. What most girls do not realize is the effects these relationships can have on them.

While to a teenage girl, the act of dating an older man can seem exciting and liberating, it is actually a disaster waiting to happen. They don’t realize the overall advantage a grown man has over them.

The old age phrase “age is but a number” is unbelievably wrong once things are put into perspective. The age difference between 16 and 21 might not seem like much to a teenage girl, but it is. The maturity difference between a junior in high school and a junior in college is very noticeable and can be seen in their mannerisms.

This can lead to emotional manipulation because of the girl’s inexperience in life compared to that of an adult. The older man will already have an overwhelming dominance over the girl just because of the fact that he is an adult and she is a child. Aware of that vulnerability, men have no problem taking advantage of girls.

The girl will falsely believe that since she is “mature,” she is in control of herself and her actions when involved in a relationship with a man considerably older than her. Unfortunately, this is not the case. The older man will begin to notice the stark contrast between his life and his partner’s life and believe that because she is younger, he will begin to view her behaviors as childish.

The older man can also make the girl feel inferior for discussing her “childish” problems, even belittling her for being childish, even though she is, in fact, children. This kind of emotional manipulation can lead the girl to try to drastically change herself to fit the expectations of the man, including alienating herself from her friends and family.

“It doesn’t take much for someone older than you to make you feel babyish, and you might make choices that aren’t in your best interest just to reestablish the feeling that you’re totally mature and that you two are peers,” says Amy Spiegal of Rookie mag as she recounted her own relationship with an older man as a teen.

Spiegal goes on to explain how, at age 15, she was involved with a 28-year-old male and what she wished for, she was warned against. According to Spiegal, the most important thing a younger girl should ask herself is,

“Why do they want to date you and not someone their own age?” There is something off-putting about the fact that a man has to resort to preying on a girl years younger than rather than seeking out a woman his own age.

The fact of the matter is, normal men don’t want to be with teenage girls: pedophiles do. They are well aware that they are able to manipulate a girl since she won’t know any better. They also know that the relationship is wrong, which is why they mostly remain secretive to avoid the consequences such as jail time and being labeled as a sex offender.

Such relationships, all in all, are completely unhealthy and can be very damaging to some girl’s minds and can even lead to them having relationships issues in the future.