Abusive teen relationships: the dark, alarming reality

   Every year, approximately 1.5 million students suffer from abuse in a relationship with a fellow student. While domestic abuse is most notoriously associated with adults, teenagers are quite capable of falling victim as well when in a relationship. Whether physically or emotionally, both girls and boys are guilty of partaking in abusive high school relationships.

   According to dating statistics from loveisrespect.org, “One in three adolescents from the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional, or verbal abuse from a dating partner, a figure that far exceeds rates of other types of youth violence.”

   It has been confirmed that women ages 16 to 24 are most susceptible to abuse in an intimate relationship. While females are typically portrayed as the victims of abuse, men are often martyrs of emotional exploitation. Life Management Skills teacher Ms. Maryann McCabe asserts that commonly “boys are more on the physical end [of violence] but girls can be terrible with the emotional abuse.”

   Aid to Victims of Domestic Abuse Inc. (AVDA), an organization committed to offering various services to those experiencing abusive relationships, advocates “violence-free relationships and social change.” AVDA has visited McCabe’s classes for an eight week session to speak with students in order to prevent the spread of violence. McCabe explains both male and female students were present during these sessions, with boys tending to respond in a defensive manner since the program characterizes men as the prevalent abusers.

 “It taught me to raise my standards on guys and not let them walk all over me,” recounts senior Anielyse Daniel regarding the impact AVDA has had on her view of relationships.

   The importance of communicating violent situations with a trusted adult is exemplified in the story of an individual who wishes to remain anonymous sharing the experience of a friend’s abusive relationship. After two years of dating and at the time a junior in high school, the girl’s relationship took a turn for the worse.

   “He was verbally, physically, sexually, and psychologically abusive,” relates the anonymous source. “I remember her sobbing to me because of the way her boyfriend treated her. Once she was cooking him dinner, and he started yelling at her for cooking the wrong meal and knocked her unconscious.”

   Consequently, the anonymous source goes on to explain that the friend was worried police would not believe her boyfriend was so vicious. By video tapping the crime, she was able to obtain a restraining order with concrete evidence.

   Allowing an abusive relationship to continue without putting an end to the fervor can have permanent, life changing effects. DoSomething.org, which proclaims itself as “one of the largest orgs for young people and social change” states that “Teens who suffer dating abuse are subject to long term consequences like alcoholism, eating disorders, promiscuity, thoughts of suicide, and violent behavior.”

   The knee-jerk response to hearing about people in abusive relationships is that they should just walk away. But, it is almost always not that easy. Teens who find themselves in abusive relationships and are having trouble breaking them off can seek help through resources such as AVDA’s 24-hour crisis hotline or the National Dating Abuse Helpline. The abuse in such relationships rarely just stops without intervention of some sort.